A: So you don't have to retrain the drummers.
A: You put a sheet of music in front of him
Q #2: How can you make that drummer stop?
A: Put notes on the sheet of music
A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.
The shop assistant looks uncomprehendingly at his customer, and says "pardon?"
"I'd like a guitar pick please, and some strings."
The shop assistant thinks on this for a while, and then turns to his customer and says "you're a drummer aren't you?"
"Yeah! How did you know man?"
"This is a fish and chip shop."
Johnny says to his mom: I want to be a drummer when I grow up!
Mom: But Johnny, you can't do both.
Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A drummer.
A: The knocking speeds up.
A: He doesn't know when to come in.
A: You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.
He opens the 170 door. "Well," comes the conversation inside, "I've always found Fourier transforms to be a rather limited way of interconverting what are fundamentally..."
SLAM. Too rich for him. He heads down the hall a bit to the 115 zone and opens the door. "I just read 'Generation X'," comes a voice, "and though Coupland doesn't do too badly in identifying his generation's fundamental angst, I was a bit confused by..."
SLAM. Not bad, but now the man was getting curious, and wanted to see what was further down the scale. He tries 95. "Hey, did you read the paper today? Says interest rates will go up again..."
SLAM. How about 60? "Huh. Thought 'Married With Children' last night was pretty funny. Didn't get the bit about the hooters, though..."
SLAM. It was getting pretty bad. He tried 35. The people inside were looking at one another and drooling.
Finally, he came to the one marked with a 10. He hesitated, fearing what he would see when he opened the door. But he did, seeing only two guys inside.
"So," one said to the other, "what size sticks do you use?"
Two salesmen are in a bar. One says to the other, "I bet you I can relate to anyone in this bar, I'm such a good salesman." The other replies, "You think so, huh? Well, sure. But I pick the guys." "Ok," says the first, "you're on."
The other grabs the guy sitting at the table next to them and tells the first salesman, "Here, this one." This first subject is dressed in a three-piece suit and is carrying Wall Street Week. The salesman asks him, "What's your IQ?" "190." So they chat for a while about the stock market, particle physics, and Non-Euclidean geometry.
"Ok," says the other salesman, "That was pretty good, but you still have two to go." He looks around and grabs a guy dressed in jeans, a tee-shirt, and a baseball cap worn backwards. The salesman asks him "What's you're IQ?" "About 100." So THEY chat for a while about baseball, cars, and the various women in the bar.
"Fine," says the other salesman, "But there's still one to go." He goes to the back of the bar and grabs a really scummy looking guy in a muscle shirt and shorts. The salesman asks him "What's your IQ?"
"What kind of sticks do you use?"
A: The drools comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
A: "Hey, guys - why don't we try one of my songs? ..."
A: "Would you like fries with that?"